Relationship Before Opportunity
This is a mantra I want every one of our employees to live out. It is an old principle with fresh meaning. It means giving before receiving; planting before harvesting; serving before asking.
The biggest part of this principle is not in what you get (opportunity) but in what will happen to others.
Just this week I listened to a woman executive respond to my conversation with such confusion because I didn’t ask for any type of partnership, but rather shared my desire to serve the mission of their message over the next 10 years. I had no ulterior motive but to encourage what they were doing. She shared her frustrations with others who have only looked out for short-term gain. She then invited me to a meeting with her team to discuss partnerships.
We are not naturally good at relationships in America. We have too many networking circles with too much pressure to perform placed on our jobs. Our relationships, therefore, become short and shallow. It is time for a shift to deeper relations in our professional and personal lives.
Recently I met with an employee on a business issue. When we came together, I asked him if we could wait to discuss our business plans because I sensed that there were other things on his mind. Once we got his frustrations out, we could then more effectively take care of business. That 20-minute conversation led to a deeper relationship with this employee over the past few weeks. Relationship before opportunity is worth it for everyone involved.
Take your next 5 conversations and remember to place “relationship before opportunity.” See how it begins to change your communication and the response of others.
Posted on August 14, 2008 in Leader Development
3 Comments
Stan Ward said...
What you are describing reminds me of what Lee Bolman and Terrence Deal discuss as the “human resources frame” in their 2003 book, _Reframing Organizations_. The book is over 400 pages and is meant to introduce readers to some academic leadership theory, but it is also highly readable. Your post implies the tension that inevitably develops as we try to take care of both tasks and people. Bolman and Deal also recognize this and attempt to deal with it by using four “frames” of understanding and leading organizations.
Comment by Stan Ward - Aug 16, 2008 @ 10:06 PM
Todd Miechiels said...
This is so dead on. And despite our best intentions, most of us our guilty of it at a subconscious level, and certainly sometimes at a conscious level as well.
One of my mentors asks that I consciously be on alert with everyone I meet with to ask a) “Jesus, what are you doing in this person’s life”, and b) “Is there something that you want me to do with or for this person?”.
When I apply this sound advice (which is not nearly as often as I’d like but I’m working on it!), I find that it in fact helps ensure the “relationship before opportunity” that you describe.
Comment by Todd Miechiels - Aug 20, 2008 @ 06:31 PM
Andrew Ranson said...
This fits right in with the God’s Economy concept you described earlier. If you give of yourself first (take nothing with you…engage in gentle conversation) it is amazing what comes back. If it is approached with a sincere heart, then the entire conversation changes. What might have been a “sales meeting” becomes an opportunity to discover mutual benefit. We are blessed to be a blessing, but often, when we forget about God’s economy, we move into transactional mode, and thereby limit the possibilities.
Comment by Andrew Ranson - Aug 20, 2008 @ 10:33 PM