Communicating Hope
On a recent trip to Washington D.C. I had the privilege of meeting a great driver named Harvey. He picked me up at midnight to drive me 45 minutes to my hotel. We had an amazing conversation.
Now I realize that some of you are not into conversations with strangers at midnight while trying to get to a hotel. On this night I was in the mood to talk.
I simply started to connect with Harvey and to my appreciation he worked to connect back. What happened was amazing. We spent 20 minutes or so talking about why Georgetown basketball was amazing and if Shaq should retire or not. While I am not a basketball scout I do know enough to have a conversation, which is why it is important for influencers to be well-versed.
That said, we spent another 10 minutes getting into his world. He then asked me a great question, “How did you know what you wanted to do?” The final 15 minutes shifted to building a plan to help Harvey figure this question out.
Harvey, if you are reading this I wanted to finish the conversation to help you further. I hope you go for what we discussed.
Here is how I answered the question…
To know what you want to do you must first understand who you be. I know that is not proper grammar, but it works. It means that you must know who you are before you know what you want to do. So the obvious question came from Harvey: “How do you find out who you are?”
Here are 3 ways to find out who you are:
1. Listen to What Others Say - What do your parents, teachers, siblings, mentors, co-workers, etc. say about you. If you asked them “Who am I?” what would they say?
2. Experience Through Practice - I knew I was a pioneering encourager for years but it took me going through trial and errors to get to a confidence of who I was.
3. Get to Know Your Father - I am referring to our Heavenly father here. When we know God as our father and view ourselves as sons and daughters we will begin to ask him who we are and He tells us.
Think of it this way…
Adam knew he was God’s special creation. Out of that came his vocation - tending the garden. The problems started with that tempting apple. When Adam was cast out of the garden he had to work three times as hard to get food, so he shifted his focus on what he had to do in order to survive. Thus, Adam forgot who he was and focused more on what he had to do.
The same thing has happened in our culture. We always talk about what we do, but rarely spend time talking about who we are.
Harvey, ask your friends and family to tell you who you are. Then look back at your experience and ask God for clarity. After that you can start building a plan around the best vocation possible.
From my perspective you were amazing at connecting with me and, thus, I assume you can do that with many people. You have a high Emotional Intelligence so start looking for a vocation (whether you start a company or work for some one). Do the hard part of finding out who you are and then work on what to do.
Wishing you the best!
Posted on March 04, 2010 in Personal Growth
25 Comments
Michael Cooley said...
Thanks Jeremie! Very timely. Never seen so many people asking these questions before in a very serious manner. I think we have a higher percentage of people taking a personal inventory than any other time we have experienced.
After reading this, I was reminded of something I picked up from a Walker Percy novel. He basically said the one who believes all things are possible (for him or her) is not the happiest person, but happy is the one who understands not all things are possible (for him or her), and why, ruling those things out and moving forward allows one to focus and succeed, as you have said.
This is the closest thing to it I could find, (I think Percy revisits this theme of the possible frequently):
“Like many young men in the South, he had trouble ruling out the possible. They are not like an immigrant’s son in Passaic who desires to become a dentist and that is that. Southerners have trouble ruling out the possible. What happens to a… man to whom all things seem possible and every course of action open? Nothing of course.”
— Walker Percy (The Last Gentleman)
Comment by Michael Cooley - Mar 04, 2010 @ 04:34 PM
Alan Burt said...
Some say it can’t be done. But we know someone who can make it happen and wants passionately to use us to do it. Jesus, empower us to make the difference; to fashion a future for ourselves; but more importantly, to do it for others who don’t know you yet.
Comment by Alan Burt - Mar 11, 2010 @ 05:44 AM
AMANDA ABREU said...
Amen, to seek the Father, you will find! People tend to try to be like others. What I believe is the age old saying, that some don’t even know is from the Bible: What you sow you will reap. To be able to do this is to accomplish moving mountains without lifting a finger! It start with your thoughts. Who am I? God’s creation of course, and so are you! In the beginning God created….....The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you all. Amen.
Comment by AMANDA ABREU - Mar 11, 2010 @ 06:08 AM
Vinay said...
Hi Jeremie,
Praise God! Nice article! Thanks a ton. It’s really encouraging and enriching. God bless you and use you more and more. I would really try to imbibe it in my life, thanks to you.
But before I do that, just wanted to ask you one thing. Is it ok if I don’t ask people around me? You know coz it’s not necessary that I may receive positive feedback. What if more often than not it is negative? And what if people’s idea or opinion about me contradicts that of God?
Would be grateful if you could help in this. Thanks. God bles
Comment by Vinay - Mar 11, 2010 @ 07:21 AM
AMANDA ABREU said...
Hi Vinay, this is Amanda. Through experience I learnt that people normally tell you what you want to hear. Shine your light, that is what Jesus want you to do and you will be amazed at the feed back that will come to you. Remember what we do and what we are and especially what we say has to be first and most important for Jesus. People will see Him through you and that is all that matter. You will be fullfilled! Stop the what if! That is negative on its own.
Comment by AMANDA ABREU - Mar 11, 2010 @ 07:51 AM
Cindy Rhudy said...
When a young person asks me what would I do different after 30 some years of marriage, I always say the only thing I would change is I would have known myself better before marrying. It would have saved both of us a lot of grief and frustration. I person who is either insecure in who they are or misinformed about who they are (believing only the signals others have sent to them) are striving against their divine design and will never truly be content.
When I finally began to seek my identity in my Creator, I began to be more confident, more alive, more, well myself! All of my relationships improved because I know longer expected anyone else to reflect back to me the person I needed to see. Getting to know my God, who He is, and learning of His character has helped me to get to know myself and quit fearing becoming who He created me to be. I am she, and I’ll never be the same!
Comment by Cindy Rhudy - Mar 11, 2010 @ 08:18 AM
Christian Scott said...
Alan,
Your comment encouraged my heart today. Thank you!!!
Comment by Christian Scott - Mar 11, 2010 @ 08:35 AM
Mark David Lowe said...
I believe that anything is possible for an individual, but not everything. Desire, a map to achieve our goal, and focus is so important, otherwise we are likily to attain nothing.
Comment by Mark David Lowe - Mar 11, 2010 @ 09:44 AM
Gregor K. Stanislaus said...
I am amazed this morning by how often our lives are surrounded by “connection possibilities”. What it really comes down to for me is just taking time to listen to others and find where their heart is. I find myself constantly making connections with as many people as I can throughout the day. For me a key is not making connections because it will allow me to communicate all of my ideas but to connect because I really love to hear someone speak about things that are really important to them. I apply this to all of my 5 children and wife, to the students and teachers in the school where i am the asst. principal and in the church where i pastor. It simply is a beautiful thing. CONNECTION. Thank you
Comment by Gregor K. Stanislaus - Mar 11, 2010 @ 10:11 AM
Norbert Hopkins said...
Confidently assured of knowing who I am and whose I am, I am searching for where to go and how to get there. I want to speak to people to encourage them in a broad sense. Like Adam, I have become so consumed with what I have to do to survive on a daily basis that it seems like my focus on who I am has gotten side-tracked. Plus some failures from my past have made me feel like some credibility has been lost.
Knowing that my Heavenly Father has forgiven me of any past mistakes, my confidence hasn’t been completely shaken. Instead of being given an opportunity, I have to figure out how to create an opportunity. I connect with people very well (I’m one of these people who have never met a stranger), I have a slew of stories via life experiences, and have the gift of using humor very effectively.
I’ve been told that “When you walk in a room you have such a presence that people notice that there’s something special or unique about you!” It is very difficult for anyone to be down, sad, or miserable around me. Very energetic too!
So how do I mold these into an opportunity?
Comment by Norbert Hopkins - Mar 11, 2010 @ 10:17 AM
Rev. H. Ferguson said...
Great article and words of encouragement!
The key to knowing who we are is to know our Creator (God), as well as our purpose in earth, according to His will. This starts through desiring a relationship with the Father. Prior to Adam partaking of the fruit, he had relationship with God, which is why after leaving the Garden of Eden, Adam knew his purpose. Though it was due to sin, he knew what needed to be done.
I firmly believe that all things work together for good of them that love God and are called according to his purpose. It is common for so many people to not know their identity. However, since God knows the thoughts (plans) for us, it starts with going to Him first.
Remember, all things are possible through Christ! The Holy Ghost is our teacher, speaking to us, reminding us, and guiding us into all truth, so when we want to know who we are (our identities), seek Him for the answer. And, then, watch and wait patiently for Him to direct and order your steps from that point forward.
Blessings!!
Comment by Rev. H. Ferguson - Mar 11, 2010 @ 10:40 AM
Jason Mays said...
Norbert credibility is never lost if you are willing to embrace your failures. If you have ever seen the movie “Clear and Present Danger”, Harrison Fords character encourages the President to embrace a specific relationship that he had with an individual who’se past was coming out. He said this in order to keep the media from railroading and misinforming the people concerning the Presidents relationship. It gave them no “wiggle room” for debate or conjecture. In the same way this is how you should respond to your failures. Own up to them and leave no “wiggle room” for others to trample on you. It is when you run from the failures and allow people to talk that you become defensive and your credibility can be lost.
In answer to your question on molding, I would start in your Jerusalem. I know that doesn’t necessarily make sense, but what I mean is start in your sphere of influence. Be authentic, don’t just be the “life of the party” but follow up on the advise that you give and the relationships that you create. Get into their world. That is the first thing described in this article. The writer got into the cab drivers world by stoking his passions. At some point the conversation can turn from broad to concise and personal; be aware of when to change and follow the direction. Never force the direction, you can’t dig into tough soil and begin to plant. You have to cultivate the soil before seed can go in. That comes with the listening ear that is attentive and the compassionate heart that you have. You can do it!
Comment by Jason Mays - Mar 11, 2010 @ 10:48 AM
Bill Feffer said...
Thanks Jeremie. The question is a universal question. Not only, “What am I suppoed to do?”, but, “Who am I?” Here in a midwestern rescue mission, we deal with people with severe addiction issues every day. Life has taught them that they are nobody and are unable to do anything but mess up. We see miraculous changes when men recognize God is the source of their value and that He values them beyond reason or understanding. Don’t we all need to come to a clearer understanding in this area? We all need to learn to (1) fix our eyes on Jesus. Where the eyes go, the head turns and the body follows. (2) Seek His kindom (presence) and hunger for His righteousness. (3) trust His wisdom, not our own and (4) acknowledge Him in everything. If you lift up your feet (submit to Him) He will move them. If God is moving your feet, you will always find yourself at the right place at the right time.
I have learned (still learning) that if I attend to the minute by minute, God moves me to where He wants me to be.
Comment by Bill Feffer - Mar 11, 2010 @ 12:19 PM
angela brant said...
I loved this so I posted it on my Face Book and Twitter - I’ll get to the blog in a moment! Thanks so much I loved the emails I get from you yet have never commented and now this THIS is GOOD STUFF!
Comment by angela brant - Mar 11, 2010 @ 03:16 PM
sharon said...
I read something I am posting here that was key to helping me see my Assignment & purpose using this to look over the years of who God placed in my life & seeing which ones were what kind of relationship to me. I don’t know if I can put it all in this little comment box but I’ll try. The basic thing is that there are 5 relationships you will have in your life to help you with your Assignment.
1. Mentors
2. Protégés
3. Friends
4. Golden Connections
5. Enemies
a. Mentors Are Those Who Know What You Do Not Know & Who Have Gone Where You Want To Go. Your Mentor Is Not Your Coach, Not Your Cheerleader. Your Mentor does not always focus on your good qualities. He is there for correction & direction. God will use others to be cheerleaders. Your Mentor Does Not Need What You know; You Need What Your Mentor Knows.
You Are Not Essential For the Success Of Your Mentor: But He is Essential For Your Success.Your Mentor Is a Serious Teacher That God Uses To Correct The Course Of Your Life. God will Use Various Mentors At Various Times And Seasons Of Your Life. Mentorship Is A Relationship With Someone Who Treasures Your Success Above Your Approval Of Them. Your Mentor Will Risk Alienation In Order To Produce Your Success.
Proteges:
Protégés Are Those Who Will Experience Their Greatest Discoveries While With You. Your Children Should Become Your Protégés. There are various Types of Protégés. Just like there a various types of Mentors.
The Uncommon Protégés Listens, Obeys & Completes Your Instructions. (Ruth obeyed Naomi & reached for Boaz, Esther obeyed Mordecai & approached the king) A Parasite Protégés Reaches For You Only During Crisis, Loss or Lack. They will not necessarily follow your instructions consistently. They will simply want promotion, not correction. They only associate to gain credibility through the influence of the Mentor.
Friends:
A Friend is the Greatest Gift God Can Give You Other Then Himself. Your Friends will Stay Loyal during Crisis
Your Friends Will Stay Consistent During Upheavals.
Your Friend Will Be Truthful When It Hurts. Your Friend Is Always Accessible During Your Times of Loneliness Friendships Begin As a Seed. It requires constant watering, nurturing & protection. A True Friend Will Increase Your Strength During Adversity. (Jonathan’s life time friendship moved David to his Assignment)
Golden Connections:
Golden Connections Are Divine Bridges That Enable You to Exit From One Season And Enter Into Your Next Season of Blessing. (The Butler & Joseph, The Distance from the pit to the palace may only be one person away) The Briefest Encounter In Your Life Can Be A Golden Link to Your Greatest Dreams You Have Carried For A Lifetime. Never Treat An Encounter Lightly Since God May Use It As A Golden Connection. God May Move You From the Pit to the Palace Throughout The Days Of Your Assignment…..Through Golden Connections.
Always remember, no relationship is ever insignificant in your life. Remember: Your Relationships Will Determine The Success Of Your Assignment & will help you to find it.
Enemies:
Critics who test you, leave you & challenge you also help you examine what you are doing & where you are going & will test your mettle. All are needed for growth & for your Assignment. Hope this is a help to someone else.
Comment by sharon - Mar 11, 2010 @ 03:43 PM
Mark Grayson said...
This story is so “right on”. I am amazed at the opportunities that present themselves and for so long, I was too busy to notice! Asking questions and finding out others perspectives, goals and challenges in reaching those goals has helped me and those around me to grow and improve our business and our lives.
There are two paths we can take in life and it’s interesting that the one that you end up traveling is determined by the one that you feed! Teaching these simple principles and reinforcing what our spiritual leaders share and present to us and especially doing this with our children means more than anything in shaping all of our lives!
Comment by Mark Grayson - Mar 11, 2010 @ 04:25 PM
catherine t thompson said...
Hallelujah God. Father you are awesome. Bless His name. I am reading so much wisdom and just a click away.. God is Good and a blessing.. its awesome to read, see and hear how he pours himself out in such diversity… we his own have no excuse to be ignorant and also no excuse not to pass on his word. To think that just some 20 years ago I could never have such access… God you are awesome in the beauty of your creation…
Comment by catherine t thompson - Mar 11, 2010 @ 04:54 PM
Xander said...
Amen!
Hand knit by God’s hand for a reason! A Purpose!
So ,that said, who we are are intertwined with what we were created to do!
An essential message for everyone to hear.
Funny thing is, getting to know one self seem to be a life long adventure!
Obviously God didn’t rush the job, but yes our basic personality will remain so we can complete our mission in this world.
Comment by Xander - Mar 12, 2010 @ 05:01 AM
Novelette Thomas said...
Wow this article warmed my heart. Imagine how special Harvey must be feeling…...yes just like Jesus would do (so should we too) meet people where they are and endeavor to bring change to their lives. I can truly say being validated first by what God (my father) things of me was the most life changing experience for me. As persons began noticing then it was just a confirmation but never a validation because I truly practice validating who I am by what God says about me and serving it to others. My experience was to reflect on who I was growing up, what were the things I liked to do and coming out on top was to encourage others especially those who for some apparent reason are not as fortunate as others. Yes understanding who we are and knowing that it’s God’s design to be used in the earth (for people) ultimately for His glory and for drawing men to HIM. I know it’s never too late to discover what you want to BE and then DO…....God wants us to know who we are what we were created to do…...He says if we seek Him with all our hearts we will find Him and when we find Him then we will get answers. Awesome God!!!!!!! It’s never too late to reposition ourselves so that we can be more effective in the earth and our lives can be more fulfilling. Not just being busy but being effective bringing change to our lives and thus impacting others to change. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL…...........which makes OUR GOD EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL…....He designed it all.
Nuff love, joy and peace
Comment by Novelette Thomas - Mar 13, 2010 @ 01:14 PM
Herbert Bailey said...
It has been said that “if you want to know the purpose of a thing, ask the creator of the thing.” It our case, we were created by God and are his “workmanship” or masterpiece. We can’t know purpose without knowing Him - our heavenly father. So many times, we ask God to bless our plans rather than finding out his purpose and walking in his plans which are already blessed.
Herbert Bailey
Comment by Herbert Bailey - Mar 13, 2010 @ 09:19 PM
sarah Njeri said...
that is very wonderful and greatly illustrated in a practical way. thank you Jeremie
Comment by sarah Njeri - Mar 14, 2010 @ 10:53 PM
Cindy said...
WOW - Awesome food for thought and action. Thank you for the wisdom from above! Go give ‘em LOVE!
Comment by Cindy - Mar 15, 2010 @ 06:35 PM
Jeff Robinette said...
Love the thought…we can’t know what we are until we know WHO we are….
Comment by Jeff Robinette - Mar 16, 2010 @ 09:25 PM
Edmore Masaire said...
The reason why many never get to learn who they are is because they hate criticism. This was my dilema in the past. When I hear someone say a negative trend about my character and behaviour I would get upset and defensive. Soon I learnt that through criticism I can change my mindset and develop the things I am praised for.
Comment by Edmore Masaire - Mar 17, 2010 @ 05:41 AM
rodney said...
yes i have read that it was an 11 day journey from Egypt to Cannaan (land of milk and honey). so God let them walk for 40 years around and around the mountan. he was waiting for them to learn to love Him and follow His cammands as required. so the question “who am i” i think needs to be asked within the realm and Teachings of the Spirit. yes we all want something in life or attain greatness AND MOST ARE IMPATIENT AS WE WANT IT NOW. . so we will also be led around and around the mountain untill we fully accept and comply with Gods laws and rules. What is in my heart will eventually come out of my mouth. when things are going bad with me i often ask the question “am i reaping for what i sowed” or “am i being trained for endurance by the Father. in any case i know he is present in my life. i am training to continue trusting in the power of God during good times and more especially during difficult and trying times. i am trying to build and develope my personality to focus on God, to spend time with Him. i know deep down in my heart while i try these things he is with me and will help me succeed. i will then be much closer to determining ” who i am” and what my purpose in life should be.
peace hope and love
rodney
Comment by rodney - Mar 19, 2010 @ 05:14 AM