3 Minute Monday: Saying NO!
Do you have an aversion to the word “No?”
Most people do. We love “Yes.” We hate “No.” It is hardwired into most of our brains because of our experiences growing up.
I want to challenge you in 3 minutes to retrain your mind that “No” is a liberating word. “No” keeps others from encroaching your boundaries. No gives you more margin to keep you energized in life. “No” can be life giving.
Let’s start.
Make a list of the activities or requests that have come your way whether formal or informal. Write them down and review in light of your vision and personal mission.
Now strike the areas that waste time. Delete the activities that do not focus you towards your vision. Say “No” to the people who are putting their agenda on you without your goodwill.
Here is a sample list of request (my actual list with names out):
- M. T. wants to discuss mentoring them
- Rich wants me to meet to explain his company - wants our database.
- B. R. wants 15 minutes to discuss partnership
- S. F. wants to go to lunch
- T. B. asked me to help him launch his new book
- XYZ non-profit wants me to give $x to new program
- R. E. wants me to connect him to five new prospects
You get the picture. Now make your own list.
Here are my answers with a new found affection for the word “No.” See below…
- Listen if they are moldable, pray, decide.
- NO. Don’t have time.
- I will give 15 firm minutes and decide.
- NO on lunch right now. I know what he wants and it is not now.
- NO on book launch. It doesn’t fit our mission.
- NO on giving. Already focused our giving.
- NO on prospects. Not sure that is wise.
5 No’s. 1 Yes. 1 Maybe.
Get to enjoy “No.” It just may save your life.
Posted on September 28, 2009 in 3 Minute Monday
4 Comments
Mary Lippert said...
Amazing that you are so in tuned to where I am at the moment. I just had this conversation with a friend yesterday. Practiced using the word just 10 minutes ago and can’t wait to find the time to plan my Nos.
Should make my week go better…until I open my next email.
Best, M
Comment by Mary Lippert - Sep 28, 2009 @ 03:44 PM
Bond Payne said...
Thanks for this. We always want to be open to new ideas and helping others, but you make a great point about those who put their agenda on us without goodwill. I shared this with a couple of friends who are incorrigible people pleasers. Can’t wait to talk about this with my wife on date night, too.
Comment by Bond Payne - Sep 28, 2009 @ 04:08 PM
Audrey Charles said...
Very empowering! Learning to say no at the right time and for the right reason has prevented me from enabling people in their own weakness. Sometimes no is the very thing that they need to “kick” them into the right gear.
Comment by Audrey Charles - Sep 28, 2009 @ 04:48 PM
Mark Ralls said...
Learning to say NO will also keep you out of the hospital. It is very easy when you say YES to most thing to overwork, overstress and end up sick.
Speaking from experience.
Comment by Mark Ralls - Sep 28, 2009 @ 05:17 PM